Happiness, happiness, happiness! Everyone in this world is looking for happiness and yet very few find true happiness in their lives. Why is that? Isn’t it an enigma? So, what is happiness? Let’s define this first because without finding what happiness actually is, we will never find it.
Happiness is a state of mind where you feel no fear, insecurity, worry, or any other negative feelings. Happiness is the lack of pain and suffering. It’s a state of mind where you feel totally secure, peaceful, and excited.
Today is the world happiness day. So, what can you do today to make yourself happy? Or even more importantly what can you learn today that can keep you happy for the rest of the year or even the rest of your life? So many people are unhappy in the world. It is because they do not know these Simple Rules of Happiness. No one ever taught them and so they’re not even aware that there are rules for happiness. Here are they:
- True happiness is manufactured Within: Yes, that is true though it is a little shocking for some of you to hear that. So, let me explain a little bit. Even though it appears that happiness comes from outside, that’s just an illusion. It’s created from within. If happiness is created from somewhere outside, then everyone should be happy as long as few basic needs are fulfilled. But that’s not the case, right?
There are two kinds of happiness: 1. Conditional happiness, which is a temporary happiness. 2. Unconditional happiness, which is a lasting happiness.
Most people experience only temporary happiness that is derived from achieving a goal, making money, entering a new relationship, or gaining something else that excites them momentarily. It’s called conditional happiness. But soon, boredom creeps in or some unexpected problem drags them down to the rags of misery. For most people their happiness fluctuates depending on the situation. It is a roller coaster ride with periods of excitement followed by periods of deep melancholy.
As long as we depend on external conditions to make us happy, we are bound to become unhappy sooner or later because external situations are ever fluctuating. So, it’s much smarter to not depend on our circumstances for our happiness. It’s far better to practice unconditional happiness, which is more lasting.
Now, you may ask me how. The truth of the matter is that you don’t have to look far for finding that TRUE and UNCONDITIONAL HAPPINESS in life. People never find it because they look in the wrong places, that is somewhere outside them. But true happiness lies within. You are born with it. We all are born happy. If you look at little kids, this fact is clearly evident. They are naturally happy, even though they don’t meditate, they don’t attend any happiness lectures, practice a religion, or do something specific to become happy. However, as we grow into adults, our happiness gets conditioned to various things. Initially, as a kid it’s a toy, then it’s a bike, then maybe a car, a home, a career or something else. Soon, we are deeply ingrained in Conditional happiness. And every time our external circumstances change, or what we like is taken away from us, we become deeply unhappy. Life has a way to snatch away things from us, no matter how to hard you try to keep those things or how smart and intelligent you are. So, I urge you to start finding that inner happiness today. Learn to be happy regardless of conditions. When that happens, you will be truly free and truly peaceful and joyful in life.
- Balance is the other name for happiness: Balance and harmony are essential for true and lasting happiness. It is just not sufficient to tell yourself that I am happy from within and go do things out of whack and expect to be happy forever. Knowing that true happiness arises from within is a good start. Just by knowing this, you’re far ahead of the game than millions of people. But to sustain that happiness, you must learn how to lead a balanced life. Make sure all the roles in your life are balanced, whoever you are. For example, allot appropriate amount of time and energy for all the necessary things in life. These days, people are totally focused on making money, ignoring other areas of life and soon they find their health, relationships, or other areas in life affected badly. Avoid that pitfall because money is not everything. Career is not everything. Balance all these areas in life carefully. Now you may ask me how. Here is how you do it.
- Make inner wisdom your best friend: The way to a balanced life is to be guided by your inner wisdom. No one else can tell you how to balance your life, not me, not your parents, not your children, not your friends, not any book. True balance can only be found under the guidance of your own inner wisdom. It doesn’t matter how smart and intelligent you are, if you’re not in touch with your inner wisdom, you are certain to lose balance in life and soon things start falling apart. Balance is not a function of intellect because, you see all the time highly intellectual people totally stressed and out of balance in their lives. Avoid that pitfall. Now you may ask, how do you tap into your inner wisdom.
- Practice calmness and remove restlessness from your life: It is by practicing calmness that you find wisdom. When your mind is restless and thoughts are running wild, you’re confused, you lack clarity, make poor decisions, and thus reap bad results in life. By calming your thoughts, your mind becomes tranquil. In that tranquility you will see things with clarity and find the pearls of wisdom waiting for you, shedding light on your path, showing the way to a balanced life. Harmony reigns and happiness follows.
- Expect and be ready to roll with the challenges in life: As much as you want to live a happy and balanced life, there are always challenges waiting to knock you off the balance. That is to be expected. And you better expect it because that way you can be prepared to face them. If you expect that everything is going to be perfect all the time, when challenges hit you, you will be caught off guard. When you face challenges, instead of complaining or cursing, roll forward with them and you will see wonders happening in life. Let go of your judgments about the difficult situations in life and see them as opportunities to grow and learn. By adjusting your attitude this way, you will get over the difficulties in life much faster than if you cling to negative thoughts about them.
- Learn to take both ups and downs equally: Most people find it not so difficult to be happy when things are going fine in life. But when they see a downturn, they freak out. That’s normal and you’re not alone if you do that. Most of us become very unhappy when things are not going our way, because we live in the illusion that everything is going to be good all the time. You need to let go of that illusion. Well, if you have even a little experience with life, by now you know that it is not true. Good and bad periods are interspersed. Now let me tell you a secret. All downturns are inevitably followed by an upturn. All you got to do is to wait for the downturn to be over and not do anything stupid during that time. That’s it. And the more patient and calm you are during the difficult times in your life, the faster they resolve. The more restless and impatient you get, the more obstacles you are going to create for yourself. Remember this secret.
- Be willing to fail and falter: To err is human. We are imperfect. So, we make mistakes. We falter. We fail. That is totally okay. Don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake. See that as a learning experience. In fact, I don’t want to call it even a failure because that’s a term that we coined and use it against ourselves. Why can’t failure be a good thing, a positive force, a wonderful way to grow? Think about it. If you develop this attitude, it really doesn’t matter anymore failure or success because you’re always growing and are getting better. That is what it matters ultimately isn’t it?
Follow these seven golden rules to find and sustain happiness in your life. Refer to them every day. This is not simply meant to be read and forgotten but to be practiced and made a part of your life.